Give Me a Reason
by paynesgrey
Summary: Matt has some thoughts as he wakes up with Caroline in his arms. Spoilers for "162 Candles" episode 08. Matt x Caroline. This is a oneshot and will not be continued.


AN: Spoilers for 1x08 "162 Candles". This is a oneshot and will not be continued.

Give Me a Reason

Matt wakes up groggily to Caroline talking in her sleep, and he remembers where he is. He notices the unfamiliar surroundings and the warm body that's nestled in his arms. He strains to listen to the words coming from her lips, but he discerns nothing, and instead, he shifts softly and draws the fallen covers her shoulder. She nuzzles closer to him, and he grins unexpectedly when he realizes his arm has fallen numb under her soft weight.

He lets out a sigh and feels his sleepiness drain away as he becomes more alert. It must be four in the morning, and he wonders if Caroline's mother has come home yet. If she is home, she must have reacted soundlessly to him being here, and he's grateful she wasn't cruel enough to break them away.

Matt still can't believe he's here. It's oddly comforting that he's able to help Caroline. For someone so popular and confident, Matt's never seen her look more vulnerable and scared than last night.

Yet, Matt thinks that helping her is natural for him. He's been feeling useless lately – frozen and impotent since Elena left him. He hates to use that word, but she really hurt him. He thinks he's getting over it, but every day something kicks him while he's down: Elena and Stefan, Vicki's disappearance, and most of all, being single while still being Elena's friend.

Some days he can't take it. He wants to hate Stefan and blame him for making him feel this way, but he knows it isn't right. It would be easier for Matt if Stefan was actually a bad guy.

Caroline shifts again in his arms, and he feels her warm lips trace against him. The more he feels of Caroline's body next to him, the more he wonders.

They are both so alone, yet here – together – it feels like time doesn't exist.

He's here physically, but his mind feels trapped, anxious, and unsure. Where are they going? He's crawled in bed with her and let her settle into his arms, and yet he hasn't felt this at peace since he started dating Elena.

But it was never like this with Elena – Caroline is something new, yet someone who has always been here.

She moans softly in her sleep, and Matt notices how feminine it sounds, and he realizes that Caroline is letting him see a very intimate side of her. She's sleeping soundly, and Matt is relieved. She'd been so distressed before that he was scared for her, and now the worst seems to be over.

At least he has a reason to be useful. For awhile now he's felt so lonely, and he hasn't felt like he's been doing enough to help his friends or just be himself. Elena and Vicki have affected him that much, and sometimes he feels like he's failed them. He knows he's failed Vicki, but Elena is the constant reminder of the one good thing in his life that he's lost – and will never obtain again. It's been so hard get over that, Matt thinks. He's been so afraid, and he's lost the will to move on from this static condition. He's felt no motivation, and his hopes have been lost like an opened Pandora 's Box.

However, now there's Caroline.

She's beautiful, of course. She's confident and hard-working, and though Matt has seen her darkness and selfishness at school, he doesn't think those things run very deep. He's seen more of the real her, especially after last night.

"Matt," she whispers, and it startles him that she's awake. "You're still here." It isn't a question.

"Yeah," he says simply, and if she could snuggle any closer, she would.

"You didn't leave me alone," she says, and her voice sounds lighter and free.

"Of course not," he says, and he pulls her nearer and plants a kiss on the top of her head.

She sniffles a little and says, "I'm sorry for acting like a jerk."

Matt shakes his head. "You don't have to say you're sorry. Not to me anyway."

Caroline is silent, and he feels her tears drop on his shirt. She starts to shift and so does he, and suddenly her silent room is a careful whine of bodies shifting under the covers and on the bed. When they become comfortable, Matt senses her face in front of his, so close he can feel her hot breath against his chin.

"Are you leaving now?" Caroline asks, and he notices the dread in her tone.

"I don't have to," he answers, and when he finds the outline of her face in the dark, he can't stop staring.

"Okay," she says with a brighter voice, and for a second she sounds like the spunky old Caroline again.

He stops thinking and just watches her, just feels her body against his. He doesn't mind not thinking, so he throws caution away and leans close. He finds her lips and presses lightly before shifting again and settling back in her bed.

"Go back to sleep," he says, and Caroline finds her spot again next to him as she drapes her arm across his chest.

He hears her murmur "thank you" again, and the room is quiet once more.

Matt is grateful in turn, and as she sleeps against him, he runs idle fingers through her soft hair.

Things are different now, and he feels hopeful that he'll be cured of this grueling lethargy. He can see that this is only the beginning to what Caroline will need from him, and he feels it's his duty to continue supporting her.

_No, thank you, Caroline,_ he thinks to himself before he falls back asleep too. _Thank you for making me feel worthwhile again._

END


End file.
